Purely a Matter of Relevance: Stop defending irrevocably disgusting vile creatures also known as rapists and sex offenders

Stop defending irrevocably disgusting vile creatures also known as rapists and sex offenders.

That’s it. No witty anecdotes. No charming tales. Not even a typo riddled sentence filled with $0.50 words remembered from high school vocabulary books. Just stop it. F U C K I N G S T O P IT. If I see one of you motherfuckers out there on FB start with that, “she shouldn’t have been drunk,” “did you see what she was wearing,” “boys will be boys,” “in Europe 16 year olds are considered adults,” BULLSHIT you know what I’m going to do? I am NOT going to come to your house and beat the ever living shit out of you. I am going to get behind my keyboard, open up a blog tab, FB post, tweet, IG (with a shitty ass clareon filter) and Snapchat where I am going to inform the world that you support rape and sexual predators. Because that’s exactly what you’re doing. If you aren’t speaking anything but against it, you are for it in my opinion. I am going to let the world know what a big piece of shit you are so you can be aired out and dragged right along side the irrevocably disgusting vile creatures also known as rapists and sex offenders.

And that was purely a matter of relevance.

FUCKING STOP IT.

Purely Matter of Relevance: So I almost died...

 So I almost died a couple of months ago. Not in the, “I got so drunk dude, I feel like I died.” Nor in the, “that meme was so funny, I died,” sense. It was more in the, “I spilled a horrifically caustic chemical down the right side of my body and started peeing black and the hospital told me I had 8% kidney function,” kind of almost died.

Now I apologize that I didn’t inform the masses on my situation earlier, but I’m writing this blog now to shed light on the incident.  It was honestly pretty crazy.  I didn't want to tell anyone because regardless of the attention whore social media vagabond I play on TV, I'm a very reserved individual.  Furthermore, I am an extremely jovial and outgoing person and the last thing I wanted was people seeing me laid up in a hospital bed.  It was not very becoming of the #selfiequeen to be depicted in such a manner.

Besides informing you all that care to read these blog updates (which I was very surprised by the recent reaction of people that have requested for it's return), I'm writing all of this to you now because just as of recently I have now begun to enter back into the public eye and I have a new lease on life.  It's a shame that it took me staring death in the eye, on 2 and a half weeks worth of dialysis treatment, weeks of rehabilitation and slowly returning to my previous self for me to come to this new realization, but I am happy that I can look back on all of it and now be in a happy place in my life.

I've taken many things, most of which being my own self worth for granted for far too long and I refuse to allow the weights of my world to weigh me down any longer.  I plan on returning to the world of blogging, podcasting, music and general miscreant behavior that you have all grown to tolerate over the past years.  So plan on more memes, selfies, diatribes and musings for your eye and earholes to feast on.

Dialysis was hardcore.  Having my blood purified by an auxiliary machine is such an analogy for the changes going on in my life it's unreal.  I was told by numerous nurses and doctors that dialysis isn't something most people get off of or bounce back from.  I am a lucky/blessed/omnipotent person (whichever you chose to worship believe) that the shock my kidneys were put into was caught early and able to be corrected without prolonged damage.  Alas, to anyone that knows me in the slightest knows something like a little renal failure isn't going to stop me.  Slow me down slightly, but never take me out.

I also am going to take advantage of the fact you are reading this to tell you that you need not be like me and wait to be on death's door to realize your true potential.  You all have potential, each and everyone of you.  You all have hearts full of desire and heads full of doubt and I'm here to tell you to break those shackles of insecurity and lack of confidence and to start living your life for you today.  Not tomorrow, TODAY.  Actually more like yesterday.  Grab life by the buttcheeks and tongueslap the asshole of indifference the way Uncle Reese taught you to.  Go out there and start winning you beautiful babies, I believe in you!  If you're out there making it day to day, you're still making it; NEVER FORGET THAT.

So to all of the people that have been in my corner from jump street, and to all the people that have just recently jumped on the trainwreck that is my life, I thank and welcome you to the sideshow.  This was purely a matter of relevance.

GUERRILLAS IN THE MIDST OF A REVIEW: Blade Runner 2049

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I haven't updated the blog in the last 10 months.  Feels good to be back behind a keyboard.  Instead of some long diatribe making excuses for why I'm a lazy piece of shit, let's forego the histrionics and jump right into my review of easily the best film of 2017; Blade Runner 2049.

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford, Robin Wright, Jared Leto, Ana De Armas, Sylvia Hoeks, and Dave Bautista

Plot Synopsis: Officer K (Ryan Gosling), a new blade runner for the Los Angeles Police Department, unearths a long-buried secret that has the potential to plunge what's left of society into chaos. His discovery leads him on a quest to find Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), a former blade runner who's been missing for 30 years.

The film opens with a text screen bringing you up to speed to this sequel of the 80's sci-fi cult classic Blade Runner, an adaptation of Phillip K. Dick's "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sleep?"  To not spoil the film I will only touch slightly on the story itself and talk more about how much of a MASTERPIECE this film is.

Our protagonist as stated above is a "blade runner."  Law enforcement who's job it is to hunt down and "retire" (execute) rogue androids known as replicants.  Mostly previous models that have outlived their warranty and are now roaming the world working normal jobs like you and I.  Now if you are not familiar with the previous film or book, you may not know that these androids are humanoid in every way you can possibly imagine.  They live, they breathe, they eat, they bleed and they can age and die.  It's worth pointing out that this element is what makes this tale such a compelling story.  We are forced the question the value of life and the importance of having a "soul," which is a plot point they delve very deep into.

I digress, the film starts with officer K (Gosling) retiring an old model android that poses to him the importance I spoke of prior.  Gosling at his stoic best (much akin to his performances in Only God Forgives and Drive) carries this film like a champion.  The dialogue between him and his costars is heavy and dark.  Not once was there a line that I wish was differently scripted. Penned by one of the co-screenwriters of the original, it's very easy to see how well they stick the formula that has worked before.  A- on the writing, top notch.

After retiring said android, we see him return to police headquarters for a post mission interrogation and debriefing with his commanding officer played by none other than Princess Buttercup herself, Robin Wright.  All of the actors shine, but one thing that grabbed me in the transition of these 2 scenes as well as all of the film was the grandiose nature of the world they are in.  Each sweeping shot of either a drab post apocalyptic wasteland or the glowing neon lights of LA were awe inspiring.  Director Denis Villeneuve's vision not only captured the amazing world Ridley Scott brought to life years ago, but it mesmerized you.  This isn't the over the top blockbuster you want to buy popcorn and turn your brain off.  This is a beautifully epic film that makes you never want to look away.

Not to break down each scene, I will just push forward and praise some new faces I have not seen in film and some classic ones.  Ana de Armas plays Gosling's love interest.  A holographic AI who can change her outfit at the slightest whim.  Her coy performance is stellar and the relationship between her and Gosling is so fully fleshed and palpable that brings you to question is a relationship between a man and woman so different than that could be between a man and computer program?  Again biting at the overarching story K. Dick posed in his novel.  Academy Award winner Jared Leto villain portrayal is amazingly creepy and forthright.  Harrison's revisit to the role of Deckard is more than just the fan service we received in The Force Awakens.  This is an emotional undertaking that reminds you that he is more than just the charming smuggler, but an extremely capable actor, even in the twilight of his career.  The breakout performance of the film though goes to newcomer Sylvia Hoeks in the role of Leto's muscle.  An android whose cold and deliberate actions making her one of the most unforgettable villains of recent years.

The score is superb. Hans Zimmer is at his finest, and borrowing and nodding to the original throughout the film made the film fanboy in me giddy as a school girl.  From the amazing cinemetography, top notch acting, strong screenplay, and awesomely supporting score, this is a runaway for my pick of best film of the year.

I don't get a chance to see many films in theaters, but if I was to suggest seeing any movie on the big screen this year, this would be it.  The only negative I could take away from this film is it's 163 minute runtime, but even with that said, there's no point where the film drags unnecessarily.  The action delivers, the story is compelling, the emotion is real and the performances will have you locked in.  So stop reading, order your ticket, and go catch one of the better flicks of the past 5 years.

This film is black guy approved, a solid 4.5 stars out of 5.