PURELY A MATTER OF RELEVANCE - The Problems We All Have

I've been gone a long time, kids. Like a ghost stalking the hallways of a dusty asylum, I have stayed amongst you crazies quietly from ethereal sideline.

Put me on coach, I'm ready to play. Centerfield? Fuck that, I can't run that fast or jump that high. I'm more of a middle reliever. I'm here to help carry you through to those long innings of life with some insightful humor and an inquisitive philosophy on life.

I haven't been posting from the blog because every moment I have spent writing has been spent honing and perfecting my stand up comedy routine. The blog has been a platform for me to use as a jumping point to get into doing live comedy. It will all culminate on my birthday, October 1st, where I will be roasted by my peers and perform for the first time to a live crowd. If you can attend, I highly recommend you do as to not miss the guaranteed hilarity of either a successful performance or the bombing of lifetime.

For those not lucky enough to attend such a debacle, I present to you with this week's Purely a Matter of Relevance, a written tidbit of what you will have to look forward to from my performance. Please, read and laugh (or don't lol) and leave your irrelevant opinion in the comments section of a small slice of my irrelevant comedic view of the world. Enjoy!


Problems we all have 'em, its great

My problems are my problems and no one can ever truly understand how the can infect and degrade and warp our minds. Our fragile little minds, weak fragile underachieving mass, only working at 10% of its capacity like a fucking Kardashian with cerebral palsy.

Anything, literally anything can break the mind, words can crush them. Destroy them. You're driving around having a good day and you hear a lyric from song that can fuck your whole day up.

When Jessie Spano got addicted to speed on a very special episode of Saved By The Bell, I was crushed! that shit fucked me up. A death of my favorite character on Walking Dead or Game of Thrones fucks my whole week up. I sulk around my house, devastated, calling out sick, "Like, fuck man, I'm sorry. Yeah I'm not gonna make it in. Yeah man, my brother Tyrese died, yeah I know just like T-Dog, I know it's fucked up, I know I missed last week cause my cousin Jon Snow got stabbed, it's dangerous out here, I just can't I'm sorry."

It's sad how weak our fragile little minds actually are.

And we're the only animals like this! Could you imagine a bear going through anxiety and depression? Not cause his girl left him for some other bear, cause that was months ago, she left and took half the honey, the divorce was hard on the cubs. But could you imagine him sad cause he saw something that reminded him of her.  This majestic creature, not leaving the cave for a week, sitting around in sweatpants watching daytime television, depressed about life? He finally gets up the strength to go outside, he ends up walking around the woods with his boy, lamenting haha.

"See this tree, man? This was her tree. After Stacy would shit, she rub her ass on this tree right here, you see that man? You see those stains, I can't, I can't do this, fuck man, I'm a mess."

DIPLOMA?! Who gives a shit? by Contract Killa Guerrilla

Diploma? Who Gives A Shit?

I know its late but who really cares anyway, just shut up and listen ladies and gentleman.

Its recently just passed that time of the year where seniors that either have been model students or skated along by the skin of their teeth and kindness of a few teachers have walked across the stage and received that much coveted piece of paper which is supposed to be the golden ticket to life but I really sit here and wonder to myself, what does it even matter?

As I work all day long I pass house after house that have these signs that always spouts sayings like “Here Lives A Ewing High Grad” or “2016 Lawrenceville Graduate” and anything far and wide in between. I see these signs and all I really think is how thoroughly unimpressed I am and granted me being unimpressed isn’t personal, it’s the collective feeling that I’m just putting out there for the early acknowledgement that the world is just unimpressed to put it nicely. The fact that you or someone you know graduated high school really doesn’t do anythingbeneficial for anyone aside from you and that’s only because your emotionally involved and therefore have a bias, to the rest of the country and world no one gives a shit if you got your diploma….actually scratch that because the only time anyone else gives a damn if you have a diploma is when you don’t have one which then your less than shit for not being able to get that same pointless piece of paper. Back in about any of the older generations if you had your diploma then you were set and really a leg up on about 30%-75% of your peers (obviously depending on your era) due to the fact of poverty, social and economic class, general circumstance but here in this current day and age the demand for higher qualifications has made the diploma worth less than the ink and paper its used to make because even in the older days if you didn’t have a diploma and high school education you would still be alright because most often than not you had picked up a solid trade in order to pull a good living wage to provide for your family along with the fact that the cost of living (and anything else) was way cheaper but nowadays the price of everything has doubled, tripled, quadrupled, quintupled and on and on and on blah, blah, blah but yet I still don’t even get to the point that matters. 

In this country in order to just survive you need have finished grad school just to be safe, I would’ve settled for an Associate’sdegree but with the way of the world becoming that much harder always that won’t even cut it. Bachelors is basically the new value of what the high school diploma use to be and that’s a tougher pill to swallow when you realize that if you fuck up once your screwed because there’s less leniency than there was before and less value in what you’re learning now. As of 2014 the united states education system was ranked 36th in the world when we use to be in the top 5. With an ever decreasing value in the system and the harder penalty on you for not to have the NOT value (jeez it’s about as bad as the credited value of the dollar anymore but hell at least knowledge lasts and is passed down and even still I can say money still makes the world go round). 

Far be it from me to take bitterness for the world and sprinkle that in everyone’s coffee but when I see the struggle of people trying to make ends meet because they don’t have the right pieces of paper saying they are worth more than they earn it makes me tired and all about the world and its status and with the choices of whose going to start WW3 Trump or Hilary I really just want to go to sleep forever but that’s not a beneficial way to live so really I will just continue with how life is because that change isn’t something I can facilitate so hey little Johnny & Suzy congrats on your diploma, high school was really just a popularity contest and a fashion show for you because shit if my diploma meant little then your diploma means jack now and for the future but wait you can grab some solace in the fact that every graduating class after you the value depreciates like a new car driven off the lot, lets throw a bitter party as we work our 3 jobs to not get by really :D meh who needs a merc for some odd jobs?

Stay tuned next week y’all and keep one in the chamber for me fam,

Contract Killa Guerilla aka K. Maryland