TOP TENSDAY - THE MOST AWESOME CARTOONS YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT

Hump day. You're halfway there like the work week is the forest in the riddle that is your life, and your heading for the exit. No gorillas have been shot recently, so I'm hoping I have your undivided attention, and since I have you we might as well introduce GITMO's first Top Tensday.

Let's make it clear that this is not the definitive anything. These aren't the greatest shows in the world. This week's list is just a peek into what was important in my childhood, cartoons that stuck with me throughout the years that always seem to be overlooked in conversation. We all love Animaniacs, everyone remembers Tiny Toons. Chip and Dale, Darkwing Duck, TailSpin, all high marks of our childhood. The classic action of shows like Thundercats and even newer series like Street Sharks and SWAT Kats are always mentioned. We all feel that warmth from the shroud of nostalgia draping over us when these gems are brought up. But what are the best or at least the best of the lesser known animated gems?

Welcome to the first Top Tensday!


Honorable Mention: Wish Kid

Remember when Macauly Caulkin was on top of the world? Somewhere in the space between Home Alone 2 and Richie Rich we were blessed with this fun little show about a child (voiced by Macauly) who caught a falling star with his baseball glove (I can't make this shit up) that could make one wish a day by punching the center of his glove (seriously, I couldn't make this shit up, I wish I did). Imagine a less cheeky or inventive Fairly Odd Parents starring the lead singer of Pizza Underground. Man, the 90s were weird.

Honorable Mention: Bruno the Kid

 Another "kid" show voiced by a celebrity, you say? Why the hell not. A child voiced by Bruce Willis assumes the identity of a secret agent and gets pitted against villains of all sorts, most memorable, a Moroccan gangster that goes by the name of Cous Cous. Yeah, I'm still not making this shit up.

10. Denver the Last Dinosaur

A dinosaur frozen in ice thaws in the late 80's only to don a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and a backwards hat so he could fit in with the kids.  Goddamn, who were these children's parents that didn't realize they were hanging out with a fucking dinosaur?  Also, the theme song, "Denver the last the dinosaur showed me a world I never saw before." Sounds like Denver was a gateway drug, not sure how I feel about that.

9. Fantastic Max

A talking baby, a doll made from blocks, and a stuffed animal that's actually an alien use some sort of magic to turn his baby bottle into a spaceship so they can travel to far off lands. And people wonder why I am the way I am, this is the twisted shit I grew up with.  I remember his big quote was, "dirty diapers!"  I still say that shit to this day

8. Bucky O'Hare

Anthropomorphic bunny is a space traveling freedom fighter with a cast of other animals in his squad.  Imagine a TV show of Star Fox.  It was pretty fucking dope.

7. Pro-Stars

So if talking animals and babies aren't your thing, how about a show where Michael Jackson, Wayne Gretzky and Bo Jackson are secretly a task force that helps save the world?

THE 90s WERE FUCKING WEIRD.

6. Mighty Max

I almost didn't include this one cause mostly everyone remembers this rock solid show.  I honestly don't even remember the origin of his power, but Max has a hat that when turned backwards can open portals to other dimensions.  He also has a wise owl and a Conan the Barbarian looking motherfucker traveling with him.  This show was boss beyond boss. Also, remember in the 90s that if your name was Max you were automatically cooler than everybody?  This show remembers.

5. Bots Masters

Easily the best theme song of any of the shows on the list (see attached video for the hypeness), this show was based in a post apocalyptic future where a teen and his sister created and maintained an army of robots all with their own special talents.  There was a cook, the ninja bot (cause kids love ninjas) and the Sports Boys team among others.  It only got better during the final action sequence of each episode, Ziv Zoolander (yes, that is actually the main protagonist name) would say his catch phrase which would clue all the viewers in to put on their 3D glasses for a 3D animated sequence.

IT'S LASER TIME BOYS!!!

***TIME FOR THE HEAVY HITTERS***

4: Liquid Television/Oddities

No list of late 80s/early 90s animation would be complete without mentioning these groundbreaking shows. Liquid TV was an anthology show made up of all types of ridiculous sketches, some of which spawned their own shows, none of which are on the level that Aeon Flux was. Churning out it's own feature film touting an impressive cast (namely Angus MacFayden and the always phenomenal Academy Award winning Charlize Theron), Flux was an anime that broke all the rules for American TV. A female action star, a non linear story (which the main character died at the end of most episodes) and unbelievable art and action. But MTVs breakout animated series hit can't even outshine the genius of Oddities.

Oddities sported two series in its run:

• The Head. A down on his luck oddball with the head the size of a fucking hot air balloon goes to a self help group for freaks (who remembers the guy who got a fish bowl stuck in his mouth, or the other guy with a lawn mower blade stuck in his head?). This was a gem, but not even nearly as cool as...

• The Maxx.  The MOTHERFUCKING Maxx. A man built like the Hulk stuck in a purple costume, who also happens to be stuck in an arid wasteland tries to make sense of his new life and world. I can't even begin to wrap my brain around this mindfuck of a show based on a popular indie comic book, but I loved it. It was dark, it was silly, but more importantly, it was awesome.

3. Mutant League

Did you own a Sega Genesis? Did you like sports games? Did you like macabre humor? If you answered yes to all three of these and didn't get a chance to play Mutant League Hockey or Football, you fucked up. With characters based on real life sports superstars (like main protagonist Bones Jackson) this show told the story of a mutant world and its inhabitants that played professional sports. I fucking loved these games, and equally loved the show that followed. It gave me hope for a ML Basketball or ML Golf or ML Boxing, anything!  Someone pick up this IP and make more games!

2. Ronin Warriors

At the age of 9 I didn't know much about anime. I knew DBZ and Sailor Moon came on at 7 and 7:30 respectively everyday before school, but besides seeing the names of Asian people in the credits, I had no clue what to really make of it. Until the summer I discovered Ronin Warriors.

WGTW-57 in the greater Philly area (later UPN, home of such cartoons as Iron Man, the Hulk, Jumanji and others) showed a really shitty Rambo cartoon, and one of the better anime I have ever watched.

I'm speaking of Ronin Warriors. With members like Kento of Hard Rock, Sage and Ryo of Wildflower just to name a few, the Ronins all had there select special abilities that helped them take on villains of such nature as Anubis and the like.

The show split in half where not unlike Gandalf sacrificing himself to the Balrog (fly you fools so I can get all the XP), Anubis was "killed" only to return upgraded with new armor and a new agenda. Anubis Ancient became the first "tweener" character of my young cartoon life. Not a goodie two shoed baby face, nor an insufferable bad guy heel, but a roguish wildcard whose side you never truly knew he was on. This opened so many doors of story telling I never knew existed, which would've have made this number one if it wasn't for....

1. Reboot

Hold on. Let me take a second and collect myself before I dig into literally my favorite show on this list, and honestly, one of my top ten shows OF ALL TIME.

Why is it so cool or important you ask? If you watched this spectacular show from start to finish you wouldn't need to ask. This lighthearted romp through a CGI world told the story of protector Bob and his band of buddies: Enzo and his dog Zero and Dot (his not so girlfriend girlfriend). They rounded out the fighters of this realm that every week had to battle baddies of all sorts as well as the user and the incoming games. (WARNING: INCOMING GAME). It broke the walls down around the way we depicted what was actually going on inside of our computers and game consoles while we were AFK (away from keyboard for you young'ins). It was cute, it was fun, it was good...

UNTIL BOB DIED.

This was the first time a show I watched as a child introduced the death of its main character. This was decades before the likes of Game of Thrones and the Walking Dead. I was broken, I didn't know what to do. The most obvious thought was that this show was gonna suck now Bob was gone and young Enzo was left to deal with the likes of Hexcidecimal and the other villains.

Oh, how wrong I was. Next season, we flash forward a good amount of years, not sure how many, but enough that Enzo is grown, jacked, and sporting a gnarly scar that left one of his eyes useless. MIND=BLOWN. It was dark, it was epic, it wasn't even the same show. Then, like Goku on Snakes Way, half way through the season we get the return of Bob with new armor (+10 awesome, +10 badassness) and stronger than before. This show set the bar high for what an animated series could do, years before anime made its mark in the US, and I am much better of a person for it.

There are SO many I wanted to include that I didn't cause of spacing and basis of popularity (apologies to HBO's Spawn the Animated Series and ABC's dark and awesome Sonic the Hedgehog). If there's a show you thought should've been on this list that I skipped, leave it in the comments. Share your memories or tell me how wrong my list is, please!


Until next week, this is Reese, and remember, your opinion is only as valid as much as you care to make it.