PURELY A MATTER OF RELEVANCE - MONDAY IS PURELY A MATTER OF RELATIVITY

The weekend has come to a close. You've enjoyed what little free time you had from the moment you escaped your 9-5 Friday afternoon, all the way through watching your favorite Sunday night TV programming. For the folks that work weekends, Saturday and Sunday are just another notch in your ongoing saga of mundane, and for that I apologize. Yet still I can imagine even you are affected by the banality of the dreaded Monday morning. You have the entire work week in front of you and the weight of it all seems to be an unbearable burden that you will not escape until the illusive Friday comes barreling around the corner. You've transformed your Tuesday, made it up and over the hump of Wednesday, threw back beers while Instagramming your throwbacks on Thirsty Thursday, and now, thank god; IT'S FRIDAY.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Sound familiar? I know you have all seen the meme boasting that your life is meant to be more than just paying bills and death. Which although it sounds like great advice, it's not necessarily true.

Let me explain.

If your hobbies include watching TV, playing video games, and mostly spending your time not leaving your home, that is the life you have crafted for yourself. If you have a job that you rely on to pay your bills, pay for your extracurricular activities, and have a little something left to save, you have designed a lifestyle that balances itself on you paying your bills and waiting for the icy grip of death to slip around your vital signs. This does not mean that your life cannot contain more, but please don't act surprised that your boredom has become just as much a part of your life as your daily grind is.

Life, reality, and existence in general is all based on perspective. Everything we do, everything we see, touch, smell and taste is all based upon our own personal perception. This takes us back to our point; Monday is purely a matter of relativity. Scientists worldwide have proven time and time again that the particles that make up all matter on this earth, react differently when perceived against when not perceived.  

Now to blow your brains clear out of your skull, imagine with me for a moment: If the whole of the world is simply based on whether or not it is perceived or documented, the microcosm that is your own existence is built upon the foundation of your own personal perception. You hold the keys to your own life. You are behind the wheel of the vehicle that is driving you from birth to death. It is your choice to perceive the signs and activity on the road as you see fit.

Don't let the social construct that Monday will be the drab beginning of your week, control who you are as a person.

Yes, Monday is the beginning of most of our work weeks. Yes, that thought alone is enough to bring some to tears. This is your choice. Not the choice of your god, your beliefs, your boss or your schedule. Like Olmec from Legends of the Hidden Temple says, the choice is yours and yours alone. If pleasant music can change the growth pattern of your plants, if positive thoughts directed on water cells can alter the shape of the ice it will become in it's physical form, you have the ability within you to change your depressing outlook to the beginning of the week into whatever your mind desires.

This is not an advice column, I do not have answers for life's mysteries and I certainly don't believe I am any smarter than any of my readers, but I do know I have an opinion on how you may be able to begin your week with a greater outlook than just having "another case of the Mondays.". Then again, this is only a matter of relevance.

Mr. Irrelevant

PURELY A MATTER OF RELEVANCE - PURELY AN INTRODUCTION

***As seen in the Purely a Matter of Relevance subheading***

Purely a Matter of Relevance

Monday's will never be the same. Check in every week for a lesson in a relevance. 

Purely an Introduction

It is widely believed that the written medium is dead. Good. Nothing seems to have any true worth or value until long after its death anyway. Even in the short game, the best you can hope for upon reaching the great beyond is possibly a TMZ article written by someone whose opinion is as irrelevant as yours and hopefully a 30 second BuzzFeed video compiling the highlights of your existence. All for what; you ask? To be shared by that kid who doesn't actually post anything meaningful to your newsfeed, just sharing skateboard videos and throwback hip-hop music videos for nostalgic purposes. Someone will talk about how much they loved you in that one thing that you did 20 years ago. Someone will most likely share YouTube videos of your most notable work.  Those certain hipsters will discuss obscurities of your career and their disdain of all the "posers" who only recently become fans because it's the cool thing to do. If you were popular enough you'll even garner the hatred of some maladjusted individuals stating how they don't care if you died, and can't understand why others would waste their time caring.

You made it. You worked your entire life honing your craft to present to the world at large only to die, alone I might add, so some 27 year old suburbanite in a sub par slam band can drag your name and image through the mud to get ironic likes and start beef in his comments thread. If you were important enough, this may last, umm, maybe 2-3 weeks before: someone more important dies, Bey randomly drops a new album, a major sports championship, the new Kendrick untitled live performance hits or some poorly structured meme banishes you to the realm of irrelevance.

This is perfect. This is my realm, a safe zone where I feel most comfortable. The strenuous nature it is to create art that you could only pray someone gives two shits about is enough to drive a man to drink...heavily. Knowing I can venture into an already deceased medium, it relieves the pressure of giving a shit about if you actually like any of the nonsense I have to say or not. I stated earlier, and this is something that I don't even believe in, I LIVE BY IT; my opinion is as irrelevant as yours, or anyone's for that matter. It's as irrelevant as these VICE journalists, these YouTubers, the social justice warriors and political fire-starters, even the FOX news reporters, the comedic minds behind the Daily Show and Real Time with Bill Maher.  Facts or fabrications aside, none of your opinions are more relevant than mine. You, yes you, your opinion means shit.

Hard pill to swallow? Let me elaborate. Many of you are experts in your own rights. Degrees, diplomas, certificates, lessons learned in the "school of hard knocks," you, the reader, possess knowledge that is worth sharing. There are stories within us all that are meant to be cascaded forth into the world, but reserve the fact that your opinion has as much merit to the reader as they choose fit to accept it. The quicker you can come to terms with this information, the easier it will be for you to dive headfirst into whatever venture your heart desires.

I'm not sharing this with you to belittle your Facebook soapbox, nor to knock the reader down any pegs. This, boys and girls, is your introduction. I enjoy words, always have, and I intend to continue my love for words by sharing them with the world until someone stops me by force, or I pass on from this plane of existence. The written art form is dead, and I posthumously present to you an exposition that is purely a matter of relevance.

Mr. Irrelevant

PURELY A MATTER OF RELEVANCE - DATING TIPS

You should never date a girl out of spite for another girl.

This seems simple and logical enough, but allow me to repeat myself. YOU SHOULD NEVER DATE SOMEONE OUT OF SPITE FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Now that we've cleared that up, I am going to explain why I find it necessary to stress this point. It is a fact that if you date a girl out of spite for another girl, that relationship is doomed from the jump. There are a myriad of reasons but I'll save you a diatribe and only list a few.

1. It is a fact you obviously are not fit to be in a relationship.

You feel empty and the last known entity to fill that void was the old battle ax. Hun, babe, bae, whatever the fuck you called the significant other you are no longer significant to filled that void perfectly, so it only seems right to fill that void with the likewise substitute  Hold onto your butts, cause I'm about to make you shit your brain out of your asshole. Before you were in any relationship, you were a full, content being. You may have masturbated more frequently, but it wasn't until you found someone you could give yourself to did you begin to empty your vessel and fill it with all that made them special to you. Return to base, power cycle, unplug and plug yourself in and let yourself be full before you begin to give yourself to someone new. In the empty state you are in now, you will never have enough of yourself to give to a new relationship, nor will what they give you ever completely fill your emotional husk, and you will resent them for it.

2. It is a fact you resent that your previous fling didn't meet your standards.

Spite spells trouble in River City. If your current mate happens to not meet the standards you held for the dreaded ex then that resent you harbor oh so well, you emo crybaby, will shower onto your new boo thang like a hurricane of guilt and disappointment, and that's not fair to them.

3. It is a fact that it's not fair that they're the 2nd place trophy.

When you have been angered by a lover enough to date someone new simply to spite them, you are settling. You didn't receive closure and still hold your prior in a high regard. Something new comes along giving you all the affection and spark that died out of the last flame, and although you know you wish you had the gold medal you trained so hard for, you slipped on the balance beam when that shiny silver medal, all new and pretty, caught your eye. Happy to be on the podium yet all the same upset you didn't repeat your last championship run. You'll let the fire of regret and poor decision making eat you alive until the next thing you know you stop training altogether and appear on Dancing With The Stars only to lose to that sassy chick from Bad Girls Club. Next thing you know you'll be doing backflips for Vine loops hoping to make a comeback someday.

Don't make my mistakes, let yourself be ok with yourself first before you open your heart to new possibilities. You'll destroy something that may have been salvageable and at the same time tarnish what could possibly have been the next great romance, but that's purely a matter of relevance.

Mr. Irrelevant